RUMI INTRODUCTION Welcome to Willpower 101 Whenever I mention that I teach a course on willpower, the nearly universal response is, “Oh, that’s what I need.” Now more than ever, people realize that willpower-the ability to control their attention, emotions, and desires-influences their physical health, financial security, relationships, and professional success. “The intelligent want self-control children want candy. The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It If this is impossible, staying flexible will help you fit it in when you can.” It may help you to pick a specific time that you will meditate every day, like right before your morning shower. A short practice that you do every day is better than a long practice you keep putting off to tomorrow. If that starts to feel like a burden, bring it back down to five. When this becomes a habit, try ten to fifteen minutes a day. This part of the practice trains self-awareness along with self-control. If you need help refocusing, bring yourself back to the breath by saying “inhale” and “exhale” for a few rounds. Just as before, when you notice yourself thinking about something else, bring your attention back to the breath. Your mind might wander a bit more without the labeling. You might sense the belly or chest expanding as you breathe in, and deflating as you breathe out. You might notice the sensations of the breath flowing in and out of your nose and mouth. After a few minutes, drop the labels “inhale/exhale.” Try focusing on just the feeling of breathing. Notice how it feels to breathe, and notice how the mind wanders. This practice of coming back to the breath, again and again, kicks the prefrontal cortex into high gear and quiets the stress and craving centers of your brain. When you notice your mind wandering (and it will), just bring it back to the breath.

Silently say in your mind “inhale” as you breathe in and “exhale” as you breathe out.

Close your eyes or, if you are worried about falling asleep, focus your gaze at a single spot (like a blank wall, not the Home Shopping Network). You’re learning not to automatically follow every single impulse that your brain and body produce. This simple act of staying still is part of what makes meditation willpower training effective. If you notice the instinct to scratch an itch, adjust your arms, or cross and uncross your legs, see if you can feel the urge but not follow it. It’s important not to fidget when you meditate-that’s the physical foundation of self-control. Sit up straight and rest your hands in your lap. Sit in a chair with your feet flat on the ground, or sit cross-legged on a cushion.

The willpower instinct